How to Get a Lesbian Girlfriend

Self-acceptance of being an open lesbian creates a higher self-esteem and gives you more power in life. When you're ready to open that door to find a lesbian significant other, there's lots of roads and opportunities for that path.

Edit Steps

1. 1
   

   Become comfortable being lesbian.
   Become comfortable being lesbian. Sometimes, when you hide your sexuality, others may think you're not lesbian and won't try to kick up a relationship with you for fear of a let-down. Come out to loved ones you feel comfortable coming out to. The more you are open with your sexuality, the better chance you have of other girls picking up on that and wanting to be with you.
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2. 2
   

   Introduce yourself to people.
   Introduce yourself to people. Not just girls you think are attractive, but men, too. They could have connections to single girls. The more outgoing and friendly you are, the more inviting you will be to girls. Keep discussions lightweight and away from yourself to be more appealing.
3. 3
   

   Join an LGBT group in your community.
   Join an LGBT group in your community. You will get to talk to people who are going through some of the same issues you are facing - and you might find a date.
4. 4
   

   Join an online dating service.
   Join an online dating service. Lots of dating sites allow you to search members around you. It's a good feature that you can easily find lesbian girls who live near you. Browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee.
5. 5
   Be yourself. Being someone you're not just to get with someone is a big no-no. If a girl doesn't like who you are naturally, it won't work out in the long run even if you do hook up briefly.
6. 6
   Show that you're interested, but avoid being too forward. If you come on too strong, it's a turn-off whether she was interested or not. Smile and show confidence. Be friendly and welcoming, and definitely go talk to her, but don't be cocky, pushy or aggressive.
7. 7
   Take your time. Don't be in a rush to get just any girlfriend. You have your whole life to find your soul mate. It's very hard to find Ms. Right when you're dragging around all the time with Ms. Wrong because you made promises too early and didn't give yourself enough time to play the field a little bit. Finding a love that will last forever doesn't always happen in a flash.
8. 8
   Ask her out. Don't wait for what feels like eternity for her to ask. She could be a bit shyer and nervous about asking you out, and taking that giant step can make her yours.
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Edit Tips

• Smile a lot! Give a gay girl a knowing "Hey, I'm a lesbian, too!" smile.
• Show off your pride by wearing rainbow jewelry. If gay girls don't know you're a lesbian, they won't hit on you.
• Act confident, but not cocky.
• Don't try too hard, the girls will see if you are comfortable in your own skin.
• Get to know other LGBT people. Even if you're not interested in them romantically, they can be good contacts to other people, and having a gay support network of friends will help you feel comfortable with yourself!

Edit Warnings

• People may be prejudiced against you once you get a girlfriend. Remember to take pride in yourself.
• Ignore homophobic comments which make you uncomfortable. Those people are prejudiced who disagree with your sexuality and may be trying to bully you.
• Watch out for gossiping friends. If you tell them you are a lesbian, be aware they may tell the whole school. It is better if you "out" yourself when you are comfortable.

How to Accept That You Are Gay

If you feel very attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship. Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBT community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or pansexual.

Edit Steps

1. 1
   Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don't fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.
   
   
   
   
   

   Know if you are Gay.
   
   
2. 2
   Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.^[1] When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn't any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.
   
   Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should "change your ways". If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that "helping homosexuals to become heterosexual" is possible, and treatments to "change" sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.^[2]
   
   Understand the psychology involved, as much as possible, and recognize that many people believe that sexual choice is an aspect of maturity; is it possible that the other sex still just has "cooties" to you, in a sense?^[3]
   
   
   
   
   

   Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.
3. 3
   Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.
   
   
   
   
   

   Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you.
4. 4
   Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: "I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy".
5. 5
   Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.
6. 6
   Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live "out", it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can't please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.
   
   
   
   
   

   Show people who you are.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Be selective. The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation. It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you, if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.
• Don't come out to a particular person if it doesn't feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn't "feel right" then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them may be later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your own sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally.
• Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
• If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word "room-mate" or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don't let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your "friend" or "room-mate," then you're allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don't get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:
  
  
  • "Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner" or "Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we've been together about a year now. I'm so glad you finally get to meet her... Andi, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan".
    
    Once your family get the idea that you aren't about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are "just room-mates", or that you and Andi are "just really good friends", they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.
• Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes. Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren't, share the same interests, goals and dreams for their lives. Being a homosexual person does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don't feel right to you - because you are who you are.
• Transsexuals can also be gay. There are plenty of FTMs who are gay, who are into other guys and same goes for MTFs, MTFs who are into other girls. Gender and sexuality are not the same thing. It shows that being gay does not make one "less of a wo/man"

Edit Warnings

• Use good judgement. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don't broadcast this information to your entire community if you live in a small town or an area where LGBT persons are less likely to be accepted and where you are likely to be harmed physically or emotionally.
• If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don't. As long as you know who you are, that's plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a place that is more accepting.
• If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.
• You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you're in a part of the world where the homosexual, bisexual and transgender communities are prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your own safety, and perhaps even your own personal happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exists to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case you would want to try and lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation. Although, it is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.

How to Find the Right Lesbian Partner

Despite the stereotype that lesbians move in together by the second date, lesbians date just as heterosexual people do. If you are newly out of the closet, be forewarned that being gay does not make the process of dating any easier. While some people are lucky enough to meet Ms. Right right away, for most people meeting someone compatible takes a lot of time and effort. It sometimes takes a lot of bad dates to get to the good ones, and it takes a lot of dating to get to a satisfying relationship. However, there are a few things you can do to make the search for your dream woman easier.

1. Look for women in places that would attract the type of woman you want to meet. It may sound like common sense, but if you do not enjoy drinking or dancing, you probably will not meet a compatible mate in a nightclub or bar. If you are shy about meeting people, or there is not a large lesbian community in your area, you might want to join a club or take a class in something that interests you, preferably one geared toward women.
   
   
2. 2
   Get involved in your area's a gay/lesbian community. There may well be a LGBT group, club or organisation usually offer various classes and activities in your area. Pick one or a few that interest you and join in. By already knowing most of the women you will meet there are Lesbians, you will take some of the frustration and guess-work out of trying to meet someone. Plus, if you do meet someone through a class or activity there, you will already have something in common with her to talk about and do together, and to build on common ground.
3. 3
   

   Get involved in online gay/lesbian communities.
   Get involved in online gay/lesbian communities. The Internet is full of lesbian forums, message boards, discussion groups and blogs. Some are location-specific while others are of a more global nature. Although it is preferable to find an online group that serves your city or nearby towns, many global groups might have members from your area. You can find local LGBT groups where you can meet other lesbians with interests like yours.
4. 4
   Join an online dating service. But before you do, make sure the dating site has local lesbian members. Many online dating sites serve the lesbian community but will not have many current members who live near you. Always browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee for any online dating service. LesbianDatingCafe offers advanced search features for searching lesbian members near you.
5. 5
   

   Be open to blind dating.
   Be open to blind dating. Although the very concept of blind dating is a turn-off to many people, keeping your options open might just allow you to meet your ideal partner. If a friend offers to set you up with someone, at least consider it before you say no. Ask a few questions about the woman, and if she sounds compatible, give it a try. If you are uncomfortable at the thought of sitting through a long date with someone you might not click with, meet for coffee. If the two of you connect, you can always make a dinner date for another night.
   
   
   • To well-intentioned friends: consider simply inviting the two women you'd like to "fix up" to a party or function. Say a few well-placed words to each about the other, and then let things take their natural course - no "set-up", no worries. Also, later on, you can ask each privately if they'd be interested in being set up on a date with the other - no longer a blind date. Try not to assume that they will hit it off together because they are both lesbians.
6. 6
   

   Befriend other lesbians.
   Befriend other lesbians. Making friends with other lesbians, including lesbian couples, can be one of the best ways to better your chances of meeting someone. By broadening your social network to include other lesbians who have common interests, you will be connecting with people who like to do the things you do and maybe even share the same goals and views you do. A new friend might have a friend who would like to meet you, or, you just may turn a new friendship into a budding relationship. Try not to get discouraged.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Prepare yourself for the process before you get started.
• Be very honest with yourself. Take some time to make a list of your best qualities and personality traits. Examine your true interests.
• If it were easy to meet the perfect person, there would not be so many single people eager to enroll in online dating services. Gay or straight, finding that one person you want to commit to a relationship with takes time and patience. Stay committed to the search, and remember all you have to offer. Ms. Right might be just around the corner, or she might live in the next town, but you will never find her if you give up.
• Date for a while - don't move in on the second date. Rather than going out a few times and then picking out a china pattern together, try to resolve that you will date for at least 6 months before changing any living arrangements. This way, if you find you need couples counseling before the end of the trial period, you can be pretty sure you haven't met your perfect match. Take your time - it's a lifetime of misery, of apathy, or of bliss - make sure you take the time to choose right.
• If you just got out of a bad relationship and havent had much luck getting a new girl friend, you shouldn't worrie. It takes a little while to get back on your feet. Don't stop trying!

Edit Warnings

• Do not advertise your shortcomings or lie to mask things you are not proud of. Do not say you are a workaholic who does not really have time for a relationship but hopes to meet someone anyway - either commit or forget about it. If you do not want to say you are a smoker, then leave it off your list completely.
• Dishonesty will only interfere with the process of meeting someone truly compatible for a lasting relationship.
• Do not get involved with someone you think you can "change". She won't appreciate the fact that it was her potential, and not her, that you were interested in. Either accept her as she is now or leave her alone.

How to Be a Tomboy

 

 Do you feel confined by the chains of femininity? Are you horrified at the thought of spending more than two seconds in front of a mirror? Not every girl wants to be glamorous, and sometimes she just wants to be one of the guys. Here's how to step outside the box and be a tomboy.

 

ps

1. 1
   Avoid wearing soft and powdery colors like they're the plague. Light pink is allowed. But you don't always have to wear bold, dark colors such as navy blue, forest green, brown, and black. Camo is a good pattern to stick with.
   
   
2. 2
   Be physically active, especially with sports, and do it earnestly. Don't join a team just to mine the field for potential boyfriends. Throw yourself into the game, get in touch with your inner competitor, and don't be afraid to break a sweat. Try a really cool sport like martial arts. You get a good workout, meet great people and learn something that you can really use.
3. 3
   If sports aren't your thing, then try video games.It's relatively active, and with up to four people playing cooperatively, you can make friends and rock out to all kinds of good music. Look for other games that offer competition and cooperation in the same package, so as to be able to work with someone as an equal, or destroy them in competition.
4. 4
   Choose clothes that allow you to become physically active at the drop of a hat. Jeans, t-shirts, and trainers are always a good bet. High-heels, skirts, dresses and 'pretty little pink hair clips' are no-nos if you plan on doing anything physical that day. Before you leave the house, ask yourself: "If someone invited me to play football, would I have to turn them down because of the way I'm dressed?" If the answer is yes, consider something else.
5. 5
   Get used to hearing the people around you belch and make other unpleasant noises and smells with their bodies. Odds are, you'll spend a lot of time surrounded by testosterone, which doesn't always favor good hygiene and etiquette. However, have some self-respect. Don't do it yourself.
6. 6
   Don't be boy crazy. If you want to be like one of the guys, you can't be THAT much into guys. No one's asking you to avoid attraction to the opposite gender! Just don't make it the centerpiece of your focus. There's much more to life than obsessing over guys.
7. 7
   Learn how to talk. Don't gush or talk in a really high pitched voice. Find the right volume and pitch, and don't mumble. Make sure you sound confident. Swearing doesn't mean you're a tomboy, either, so don't overdo it. It can sound cheap and fake if overused. You don't have to use "dude" or "man" or "awesome", but if you think it helps you and you're comfortable with it, go ahead. Talk as you normally would, but without squealing and being too dramatic.
8. 8
   Start hanging around boys and wearing non-girly clothing.
9. 9
   You might even want to shop at the boys' section at times. Nothing too tight or anything that will prevent you from being comfortable. Loose and baggy is the way to go, but you don't have to do it if you don't want to. You shouldn't care so much about how your hair looks, or if your nails are okay or not.
10. 10
    You can still be friends with total shopping, lip gloss loving, hip swinging girly girls, and you can sometimes be a girly girl too!
11. 11
    The point of a tomboy is to be respected by the opposite sex, and to make clear that you are not a "prize" or sexual object, but one girl to work hard to earn and be respected by.
12. 12
    Learn to skateboard or go on the scooter. After school you and your friends can go to the skate park and have skating contests.
13. 13
    Appreciate that you are one of the guys and they will accept you more easily than the girly girls that they tease.
14. 14
    Observe boys and how they walk. They don't use hands on their hips or swinging hips; they use their shoulders and take huge steps forward.
15. 15
    Run a lot. You don't want to get left in the dust when you are racing with a friend. They might get a little surprise when a tomboy passes them.
16. 16
    Chances are they will ask if you watch hardcore shows more intended for male audiences. If they ask you, answer. They'll like that.
17. 17
    Don't be afraid to get down and dirty, grass stains on your jeans, scuffed up shoes, that's a real tomboy right there. However, if you think that's going too far, that's fine. "Do what's comfortable with you."
18. 18
    'Wear some boyish clothes' like un-jeweled jeans or camouflage pants. You could also just wear baggy pants. Cargo shorts or cutoffs are good also. For a shirt you may want to buy some very baggy t-shirts with boyish designs. You might want to wear skateboard shoes or converse. Of course, you can go girly if you wish. "Being a tomboy isn't just about clothes. It's about the attitude towards life, and the respect you wish to get."
19. 19
    Joke around a lot.
20. 20
    For bathing suits, it's pretty simple. ' A good bathing suit is board shorts, some swim suit underneath, and a rash guard overtop to look more boyish.
21. 21
    It helps if you don't get freaked out at small things and try to seem brave even if you don't feel it. You soon will!
22. 22
    Try to wear sports bras and tank-tops; they're more comfortable. Again, do what's comfortable with you. If you can't give up your under wire bra, don't.
23. 23
    If you have a cellphone, texting is better and use real slang.
    
    

Edit Tips

• Be yourself. Dress the way YOU want to, and don't become a tomboy just because everyone else is.
• Work out. This doesn't mean that you should go to the gym and lift huge weights everyday, just keep your weight at a healthy level and remember to do your push-ups!
• Your intentions are important. If your intention is to appear tomboyish but not lose your daintiness, femininity, and cuteness, then you won't be able to have the earnest looseness that makes a tomboy what she is.
• Always wear your hair in a ponytail or cut it short so it doesn't stick to your head when you sweat, but if you don't want to tie them, make sure you straighten it. Two low ponytails or a plait would be okay, but sort of pushing the limit. Take care of your hair, tough-boys take care of their hair too, so it's alright. Wash your hair as much as needed, brush/comb it everyday, and don't use too many hair products. Don't keep fiddling with your hair though. Bangs are cool, so don't feel like you have to clip them up. Long hair doesn't mean you're girly, either. If you want to get your hair cut, don't get it too short unless it really suits you. Make sure it's styled properly. A layered cut is great, because it makes hair easier to manage if it's thick, and it looks just awesome when you put it in a ponytail. Not girly, either. It looks quite skater-ish.
• Don't bother with make-up or nail polish unless you feel like it. You don't have to dress up to please someone else, but you don't have to look like road-kill to be tough, either. If makeup is applied, do not overdose on it. Just a little, and not too much to make you seem girly.
• Don't let girly girls be mean to you... or anyone else, for that matter. Learn to deal with it without screaming, crying or looking stupid. If they don't accept you for who you are, then reconsider if you are friends or not.
• Go out and enjoy nature. The key is not to be afraid of spiders, bugs, and the like. Or, if there's a girly-girl screaming about the bug in front of her pick it up and move it outside. It really impresses guys to know that you aren't afraid of creepy things, but everything has a right to live.
• When you have to shop, go to a skate shop or somewhere that sells stuff you like.
• Never be afraid to let your creative side show.
• You don't have to like sports. That's part of the stereotype. Video games can be a better alternative.
• Don't be afraid to gush over boys with your girl friends.
• Look good sometimes. Don't act extremely like a guy, since that is just being stereotypical.
• The tomboys I know are girls who don't care about what others think of them. If you're someone who lives to please and get compliments, don't become a tomboy.
• Being a tomboy is mostly natural. You can shop in girls sections, but make sure to buy jeans or T-shirts, not mini-skirts. You can wear nice clothes on occasion, maybe to a dance or party, but make sure it suits you and doesn't look like you tried too hard to impress someone. The key to being a tomboy is to fit into the lifestyle naturally, not to look like you are begging the guys to hang out with you. Tomboys are just girls who don't like being girly-girls, so that's who you should be.
• Do not wear dresses, only shorts and a loose tee shirt.
• Don't wear loud make-up.
• Don't be on your cellphone 24/7, but having one isn't bad, either.
• If you are looking for clothes, you don't have to go to some skate shop you find in the mall. If you go shopping at a place like Kohl's, just head straight for the boys department if you prefer to wear boys' clothes. Don't worry if you see a boy there that you know.
• Lastly and most importantly remember that a tomboy isn't a specific style, but rather a girl removed from the Princess stereotypes pushed by the media. It's about doing what you want and dressing comfortably, which is pretty much how most guys live.

Edit Warnings

• Don't get so caught up in being a tomboy that you forget to be yourself. You can wear make-up and pretty clothes and still be "one of the guys".
• Don't try too hard. If you constantly say stuff like "Dude, I hate girly girls" and change very quickly, you'll look like a total poser and nobody will want to hang out with you. Change slowly, and just act how you feel. Besides, if you are comfortable being a tomboy, you won't have any problems with people who want to be girly-girls. Everyone should be who they are, and if you don't like someone who is girly, don't point them out and say you hate them because they're girly.
• Your parents may get upset, particularly your Mum. If she's really girly and likes hanging out with you, she may be upset you're changing. Don't worry, just explain you're changing but you're still the same person.
• Just because you're a tomboy doesn't mean that you have to forget your personal hygiene but you don't have to spend hours in the bathroom every morning. Shower at least once a day. Though the boys may smell bad after a game of football, try not to smell that bad. Wear deodorant and keep yourself clean.
• Never wear anymore of those cute little dresses, it will ruin your tomboy rep.
• If you've seen boy's jeans, they're a little ripped up, not hugely ripped.
• This can be a hard lifestyle. You'll have to take girly girls making fun of you. Just ignore it or come up with a witty response.
• Don't be flat out rude to girly girls, it makes you out to be a jerk.
• If you are a girly girl changing to a tomboy, you can still keep your old friends.
• If you are in high school people might assume you are a lesbian. Politely correct them if they are wrong. Explain you just like being a tomboy or lead an athletic lifestyle and aren't into girly things.
• If you've already been tomboy for a while,some of your friends might forget that you're not just one of the guys. If that's the way you want to be viewed, that's fine, but it can be embarrassing if you're in a public place and they say something. Another thing you can not just skip from tomboy to pretty. That will throw your friends off. They will be a little curious.
• You can still be friends with lip gloss-loving, pink colored super make-up girly girls as long as you don't become one.

 

 

How to Attract a Tomboy

 

1. 1
   Play sports with her or hang out with her. Do this progressively, so as not to freak her out with your sudden interest in her sporting activities.
   
   
2. 2
   Find out some funny jokes. Most girls love funny guys, even if they are tomboys.
3. 3
   Leave the clothing compliments aside. It is not really a good idea to compliment a tomboy on her outfit. The chances are that she became a tomboy to avoid the whole girly-girl cutesy thing.
4. 4
   Make sure she is available before making your move on her. Girls (and tomboys) don't like guys hitting on them when they have a boyfriend already.
5. 5
   Learn about what her interests are and start getting interested in them. Naturally, don't change yourself; just try to see if some of those interests enthuse you and adjust a little.
6. 6
   Slowly but confidently start flirting with her. Do this in a way that isn't that noticeable and more by way of mateship. If you persevere and keep it casual but kind, after a time, she will start to find herself liking you.
7. 7
   Build things up. After awhile, if she shows signs that she likes you too then you can turn up the flirting a notch. Don't play too easy though; then she won't feel that she is powerful, and most girls like thinking they have a sense of power over love. Love should be shared, not be a power struggle.
8. 8
   Be patient. If she is the confident tomboy many tomboys are, then she might either ask you out or tell you she likes you. If she doesn't do this, then ask her out.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Become friends first.
• Find her interests.
• Be as funny as possible.
• Make sure she is open.
• Flirt confidently and gradually.
• Flirt a little more after awhile.
• Be the same guy when you go out. Girls don't like guys changing once they're in a relationship with them.

Edit Warnings

• Make sure she is receptive to being in a romantic relationship.
• Take care with the compliments; make sure she enjoys compliments before piling them on.
• Keep the flirting chilled at first, so as not to overwhelm her.
• Don't be too easy to get.
• Don't change who you are once you start going steady.
• Some tomboy's aren't really interested in relationships.

How To Write a Lesbian Love Letter

How To Write a Lesbian Love Letter

Sexy Fridays: How to Write a Lesbian Love Letter

Why would you write a love letter to your sweetie instead of just texting her or telling her you love her on the phone? Writing is tactile. As you put pen to paper, you're putting a piece of yourself down, where she can pick it up and hold it. You're giving her something she can keep and cherish. Something she can put in a box or a drawer and take out and touch from time to time. Especially if you live far apart or are going away, writing a love letter is a great way to remind her of how you feel about her when you're not around.



But even if you live together, surprise her with a hand written note under her pillow, with breakfast in bed or slipped into her briefcase as she heads out the door for work. Not sure where to start? Here are some tips for writing a lesbian love letter.

How To Write a Lesbian Love Letter


By Kathy Belge, About.com Guide

.See More About:lesbian dating advicelesbian relationships



Love Letter

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Writing a love letter can be one of the most romantic things you do. Follow these steps to write a romantic love letter to your lesbian partner.

Difficulty: Average

Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

1.Keep notes. Before you even put pen to paper, think about the feeling you want to express to your lover. Jot down ideas when they come to you of specific things you want to mention. Take a few days to just ponder her.

2.Be descriptive. Think of a specific instance and recall how you were feeling. Tell her that in your own words. "The first time I saw you across the room, I couldn't speak. I forgot where I was in the story I was telling and all I could do was follow you with my eyes all night."



3.Get creative. While saying "I Love You" is nice, find a unique way to say exactly how you feel. Try to avoid cliches like butterflies in your stomach and "the world stopped when I saw you."



4.Get Personal. What is it you love about her? What are her best qualities? Tell her.



5.Direct it at her. It's good to say how you feel, but don't forget to tell her about her. Describe the thing about her that drives you crazy, the way her eyes light up a room or the great sense of humor she has. Again be specific. "Your chicken parmesan is the best in all of Kansas," or "The way you dance is sexier than Shakira."



6.Get Sexy. Without getting too graphic. Tell her what it is that is attractive to you. Her hair. Her eyes. The way she fills out a pair of jeans.



7.Add poetry. Try your hand at writing her a simple verse. If you're not a poet yourself, quote from another poet or a song that makes you think of her.



8.Write from your heart. Don't worry so much about if you get it perfect. Just make sure it's sincere.



9.Fess up. If the reason you're writing this letter is because you messed up and are trying to win back her graces, be sure to own your mistakes and promise not to take her for granted again.



10.Love her! Don't forget to tell her you love her.



11.Add a personal touch. Decorate it with photos of the two of you together or images from magazines that remind you of her.



Tips:

1.Write it out ahead of time on scrap paper. Scratch out, write and re-write until you have it perfect.

2.Don't email it. Hand write it on fancy paper or a card and add a touch of your cologne if you wear it.

3.Send it in the mail. There's something special about receiving a personal letter in the mail these days.

4.Offer to read it out loud to her after she receives it.

5.Don't get too heavy, especially if you haven't been dating all that long. You want it to sound thoughtful, not like a stalker.

What You Need:

•Pen

•Nice paper

•Her address

Dating Women

Dating Women

Although there are no sure-fire ways to tell, here are some way to guess if a woman is interested in you, especially for bisexual and lesbian women.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: N/A

Here's How:

1.She Tries to Make Eye Contact

Does she go out of her way to try and catch your eye? Do you catch her looking at you when you glance her way? These are signs that she's intrigued, but it may or may not have anything to do with a romantic interest. Pay attention to the context. These clues are a lot more telling at a lesbian bar then in the workplace.

2.She Makes a Point of Sitting Near You

At work she sits next to you in staff meetings. In a group of friends she'll take the seat right next to you or right across from you.

3.She Goes Out of Her Way to Engage with You

Does she always come by your cubicle at work to check in about a project that could easily be talked about via email? Does she show up at your softball games, at the club where you bartend or hang around outside your classroom when her next class is far away? These are all signs she could be into you. Then again, it could be your co-worker, boss or classmate.

4.She laughs at your jokes

Especially if they're not funny.

5.She touches you.

Does she touch your hand when she asks to see your ring? Are there moments when touching is not called for, but she does anyway, like sitting close on a couch or giving your shoulder a squeeze when you pass by her.

6.She compliments you.

If she says you have pretty eyes or a nice smile, she's probably flirting with you. If she compliments your shirt, hair or shoes, she could just like them.

7.She jokes around with you.

Humor is a great ice breaker. If she likes you, she may tease you, joke with you or flirt with you.

8.Your intuition is tell you so.

Don't discount the power of your intuition. Often the energy between two people is palpable. Feel for it, but you can never be sure if one-sided.

9.She tells you.

This is only sure fire way to find out if someone is into you. Either that or she tries to kiss you.

Tips:

1.Warning: If she is your personal trainer or therapist, these things are part of her job (Well, obviously not the kissing...) She is NOT interested in you!

2.Pay attention

Is she acting this way just toward you, or is she a touchy, flirty person in general.

3.Have good boundaries.

If this is a co-worker and you're interested in finding out more, invite her to hang out outside of work. Hitting on someone at work is highly inappropriate and may get you fired.

4.Use Caution

All of these things may add up to her liking you, but don't do anything stupid or rash. Take it slow and get to know her before you make a fool of yourself.

5.Find out if she is gay or bi.

She may not know yet if she is lesbian or bi, but you can start by coming out to her and seeing how she responds. Here are some suggestions of ways to bring up the topic.

Flirting Tips for Lesbians

Flirting Tips for Lesbians

Boys Don't Cry

Boys Don't Cry

Boys Don't Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOarssJWHhI&feature=player_embedded

This is the movie trailer for the film Boys Don't Cry starring Hilary Swank and Chloë Sevigny

Boys Don't Cry Trailer



هذا الفيلم قصه حقيقيه والفيلم مؤثر جدا

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOarssJWHhI

وهنا في المقطع بتشوفوون بعض الصور للشخصيات الحقيقيه



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Oq54y90HrE&feature=related









ممكن تشوفين لقطات من الفلم عن طريق هذا الموقع

http://www.youtube.com

بعدين تحطين اسم الفلم الي تبحثين عنه في خانة البحث ويظهر لك مقطع منه او عدة مقاطاع اي يكون الفلم على اجزاء تلاقيها الاجزاءمرقمة بالترقيم 1 2 3 الى اخره على الجنب

الافلام بعضها حلوة وبعضها الاجزاء جنبها لقطات من الفلم نفسه لانه تلاقي في لقطات علاقة بين فتاتيين عاديتان اي سحاق او شذوذ وانا ضد هالشي..اما اذا كانت العلاقة بين فتاة وفتاة بس بالاسم فتاة وتحس انها رجل وتحاول حل مشكلتها وهي 100 بال100 رجل فلا مشكلة برايي

طبعا بهذي الطريقة راح تقدر تشوف كم جزء من الفلم او اجزاء منه على حسب الموجود بالموقع



الطريفة الثانية عن طريق بعض اللنكات المباشرة الي انا حاطهتا لبعض الافلام




It's In The Water

http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Fv%3DV_1-9zt1WFg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-K4tz-2T7g

مهم ~| منْ أنــتِ في المثّلية

مصطلح ( مثّلية - Lesbian )

| * يصنف على انه ميل عاطفياً وجنسياً امرأه الى امرأه أخرى !!

 

ربما يدور في خلد البعض ماهي الأعتبارات التي تحدد هويتي الجنسية !؟

لـمـا وبـما أنا مختلفه ؟؟!

الكثير منا مع بداية الطريق لـ هويته الجنسية ينصدم بمصطلح عاام وآخر متعارف عليه ،،

يرى نظرة الغرب الشموليه و نظرة الشرق القاصره الحديثة فيضيع بين هذا وذاك ..

 

غربيا::

- يشمل مصطلح مثـّلية الجنس (لزبيان) - Gay Woman/ Lesbian

امرأة تميل إلى النساء جنسيا وعاطفيا.

(ترجمة عن: Berger 1987)

لكن نظرة الغرب تبتعد عن التصنيف بأعتبار ان الشخص يحدد ميوله

بمصطلح type وهو ميول وانجذاب كلا الشخصين أحدهما للأخر

أو بمعنى الصفات التي تحرك مشاعره اتجاه الأخرين وبالتالي يميل اليهم

اماا شرقياً عربياً وبالأخص ( خليجياً ) فالنظرة مغايره :

 

- ليس لحداثة الموضوع وانما لـ حداثة انتشاره علنياً !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

فخرج لنا مصطلح البوية

  

- Boyah و الليدي - Lady

وهو للأسف مصطلح قاصر جداً و معتمد على الشكل الخارجي فقط !

و أحيانا تلعب الموضه والاستايل دور كبير في تحديد خاطئ نحكم به على الأخرين حسب اشكالهم الخارجية ..

" من منا لم يقع في هذا الموقف الصادم وبالاخير نكتشف أننا أخطئنا التقدير " !!

فـ هناك تصنيفات مثّلية خاصة لـ تحديد الميول العاطفي

و عليه تحدد تعابير انجذابنا للأخر

ولكن دعوني أولاً أحدد مفهوم الميول الجنسي

الميول الجنسي - Sexual Orientation

يصف موضع الانجذاب الجنسي الأساسي عند الشخص من الناحية الغريزية الجنسية والعاطفية.

يتضمن الميول صورا عدة لجنسية مختلطة ،،

إن الشخص الذي ميوله الجنسي هو لأفراد جنسه فقط

يدعى مثّلي الجنس (هومو) عند الذكور

وتدعى مثّلية الجنس (لسبيت)عند الإناث،

أو مغاير/ة الجنس (هترو)- رجل يميل للمرأة أو امرأة تميل للرجل.

(ترجمة عن: Moses & Hawkins 1982)

لكن بعيداً عن المصطلحات العلمية المعقده

سأتناول الجزئية التي تخص المثّلية النسائية فقط بأختلاف أنماطها

أولاً :

ليب استيك ليزبيان - lipstick lesbian

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

هذي الفئة مقسمه الى نمطين

2 . الـ فيمي ليب استيك ليزبيان femme lipstick lesbian

~ تحب أنوثتها و تنجذب الى نمط البوتش والتومي بويز

وتبتعد عن مثيلاتها من الـ ليب ستيك ليزبيان ..

Ellen & Portia

 

 

 

 

البوتش

Butch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

و هذي الفئة مقسمه الى نمطين :

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. الـ سوفت بوتش Soft Butch

~ ناعمة التكوين .. تميل الى الملابس الرجالية

ولا يشترط على هذا النمط الشعر القصير باللوك فهي على العموم تميل الى النساء ..

Bound

 

 

2. الـ استرونغ بوتش STRONG Butch

~ خشنة جداً وقد تكون رجولية الجسد والمظهر ..

ذات تكوين عضلي Muscles ولوك رجولي بحت ..

لا يشترط ان تكون راغبة في تغيير الجنس بمعنى ( عملية تغيير جنس )

وهذا النط يميل الى النساء عامة ..

Out at The Wedding

ثالثاً :

الـتومي بوي TomBoy 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~ هالنمط اللي منتشر بالخليج غالباً ومتعارف عليه بكلمة ( بوية ) 

لا يشترط ان يتخذ المظهر الخارجي اي شكل

عدا ان الشكل يميل الي الرياضي او مايعرف بـالـ سبورت

ربما بعض الميك اب الخفيف جداً .. تميل الى النساء

مثل فيلم High Art و Better Than Chocolate

but not all tomboys are lesbians ther are strights 2 

 tomboys do not necessarily like girls .. tomboy is a way of living/dressing and not a sexual orientation

Better Than Chocolate

 

رابعاً :

الميول الجنسي المزدوج (بايسيكشوال) - Bisexual

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

هذا النمط حيادي الرأي و يميل الى الجنسيين معاً ( الذكر - الأنثى ) بنفس الدرجة ..

وهو نمط يتبع مبدأ ( الحب - LOVE ) أي الوقوع في الحب و يتبعه الميول الجنسي ..

ربماا يكون هذا النمط ذو المشاعر المتقلبه يميل الى جنس في فترة ما ( الذكور ) ويحيد عنه بفترة أخرى ..

* كما هو كاريكتر اليس Alice في مسلسل The L WoRd

The L WoRd

 

 

خامساً :

أحرار الجنس (كوير) - Queer

~ وهو نمط حر .. يميل الى الجهتين معاً ( الذكر - الأنثى ) ..

فالمتعة الجنسية هي الهدف الاساسي

طالما وجدت الرغبة و عامل الاثاره و المكان المناسب ..

وهذا النمط بالغالب ذو مبدأ جنسي

سادساً :

مغيرات الجنس (ترانسيكشوال) - Transsexual

~ نمط سجين جسده .. يميل الى تصحيح وضعه الحالي من خلال عملية تغيير الجنس

فهو رجل في جسد فتاة ..

Boys Don't Cry

سابعاً :

ترانسفيست - Transvestites

~نمط يميل الى التصرفات الذكوريه و الملابس الرجالية

لكن ليس كـ ميول لنفس الجنس ،،

انما هو مظهر خارجي أعتمده بناء على بيئة أو تنشئه..

Diane Keaton

ثامناً :

مغاير الجنس (هيتروسكشوال) - Heterosexual

.

" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ( الاستريت ) - Straight

الميول جنسي لأبناء أو لبنات الجنس الآخر

أي ان رجل يميل لامرأة أو امرأة تميل لرجل

 

 

 

 

 

.

 

هناك ايضاً مصطلحات قد تمر عليكم وقمت بأضافتها للافاده بها "

مثلوفوبيا (هوموفوبيا/لزبوفوبيا) - Lesbophobia/ Homophobia

~ الخوف والاشمئزاز وعدم التواجد بمقربة المثليات ومثّلي الجنس.

يزداد حدة هذا التصرف بواسطة استخدام الغضب، النقمة والعنف من اجل اضطهاد المثليين.

(ترجمة عن: Herek1996, 2000)

مثلوفوبيا داخلية - Inner Homophobia

~مشاعر خوف واشمئزاز وأفكار هوموفوبية يحملها مثلية الجنس اتجاه نفسه بشكل خاص واتجاه الآخرين بشكل عام.

(ترجمة عن: Herek1996, 2000)

الفخر - Pride

يحمل مصطلح "الفخر" بعدين:

البعد الشخصي: الهوية المثلية عند المثلية وتخطي مرحلة الهوموفوبية الداخلية وتقبل معاني مثلية الجنس الايجابية.

البعد الاجتماعي السياسي: تنظيم مجموعات مثلية الجنس أو المتحررين جنسيا

سياسيا للنضال من اجل مساندة مشتركة وللحصول على حقوق اجتماعية متساوية.

إعلان مثليتي الجنسية (الخروج من "الخزانة") - Coming Out

وهو يمثل مرحلتين :

الأولى - يقصد بها تقبل الشخص هويته الجنسية بينه وبين نفسه واعترافه بـميوله المثّلي

الثانية - تعتمد على التصريح أمام العائلة،الأصدقاء أو المجتمع عن هوية الشخص الجنسية.

انا فيني من ...

((100% TomBoy ))
(( أكثر من Soft Butch ))

(( شويه من STRONG Butch))