Flirting Tips for Lesbians

Flirting Tips for Lesbians

How does a woman flirt with another woman? That can be tricky, especially if you do not know the sexual orientation of the object of your flirt.

There's nothing like having someone flirt with you to boost your self-esteem. Whether or not you return the attraction, it feels good to know that someone finds you attractive. Flirting is an art. It's a two-way game. You have to be able to read your partner's interest and comfort in the flirtation in order to know how to proceed.

But, if done properly, there is nothing better or more exciting than letting the electricity grow between you two in the beginning stages of a relationship. Flirting can be subtle or overt. I prefer the subtle kind.

Here's some tips for flirting:

•When you're out together, try to sit near her. Notice if she moves closer or farther away. When you're sitting on a couch and your thighs touch, what does she do? Does she let it stay or inch away?

•Look her in the eye when you are talking. Hold the stare for a little longer than you would a normal conversation.

•It may sound corny, but open a door for her to walk through.

•If you're sitting across from each other, gently put your hand on hers. Don't move it away unless she does.

•Tell her she looks nice tonight. Compliment her hair or outfit.

•Find out what makes her laugh. There's nothing like humor to cut the tension and loosen you both up.

•Offer to get her a drink if you're at a party or bar together.

•Touch her hand or shoulder when you hand her a drink.

•Tell her you've been thinking about her.

•Call her just to say hi and see what's she's been doing.

•Send her a little note that says you enjoyed spending time together. An email is okay, hand written and dropped at her door or mailed is better.

Be careful not to over do it. You don't want to seem like a stalker. Look for signs that your flirtation is unwanted. Does she get off the phone quickly when you call? Do you send her long flowery e-mails, only to get one line answers in return? If so, back off and let her come to you.

Good luck and most of all, have fun!

How to Get a Lesbian Girlfriend

Self-acceptance of being an open lesbian creates a higher self-esteem and gives you more power in life. When you're ready to open that door to find a lesbian significant other, there's lots of roads and opportunities for that path.

Edit Steps

1. 1
   

   Become comfortable being lesbian.
   Become comfortable being lesbian. Sometimes, when you hide your sexuality, others may think you're not lesbian and won't try to kick up a relationship with you for fear of a let-down. Come out to loved ones you feel comfortable coming out to. The more you are open with your sexuality, the better chance you have of other girls picking up on that and wanting to be with you.
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2. 2
   

   Introduce yourself to people.
   Introduce yourself to people. Not just girls you think are attractive, but men, too. They could have connections to single girls. The more outgoing and friendly you are, the more inviting you will be to girls. Keep discussions lightweight and away from yourself to be more appealing.
3. 3
   

   Join an LGBT group in your community.
   Join an LGBT group in your community. You will get to talk to people who are going through some of the same issues you are facing - and you might find a date.
4. 4
   

   Join an online dating service.
   Join an online dating service. Lots of dating sites allow you to search members around you. It's a good feature that you can easily find lesbian girls who live near you. Browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee.
5. 5
   Be yourself. Being someone you're not just to get with someone is a big no-no. If a girl doesn't like who you are naturally, it won't work out in the long run even if you do hook up briefly.
6. 6
   Show that you're interested, but avoid being too forward. If you come on too strong, it's a turn-off whether she was interested or not. Smile and show confidence. Be friendly and welcoming, and definitely go talk to her, but don't be cocky, pushy or aggressive.
7. 7
   Take your time. Don't be in a rush to get just any girlfriend. You have your whole life to find your soul mate. It's very hard to find Ms. Right when you're dragging around all the time with Ms. Wrong because you made promises too early and didn't give yourself enough time to play the field a little bit. Finding a love that will last forever doesn't always happen in a flash.
8. 8
   Ask her out. Don't wait for what feels like eternity for her to ask. She could be a bit shyer and nervous about asking you out, and taking that giant step can make her yours.
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Edit Tips

• Smile a lot! Give a gay girl a knowing "Hey, I'm a lesbian, too!" smile.
• Show off your pride by wearing rainbow jewelry. If gay girls don't know you're a lesbian, they won't hit on you.
• Act confident, but not cocky.
• Don't try too hard, the girls will see if you are comfortable in your own skin.
• Get to know other LGBT people. Even if you're not interested in them romantically, they can be good contacts to other people, and having a gay support network of friends will help you feel comfortable with yourself!

Edit Warnings

• People may be prejudiced against you once you get a girlfriend. Remember to take pride in yourself.
• Ignore homophobic comments which make you uncomfortable. Those people are prejudiced who disagree with your sexuality and may be trying to bully you.
• Watch out for gossiping friends. If you tell them you are a lesbian, be aware they may tell the whole school. It is better if you "out" yourself when you are comfortable.

How to Accept That You Are Gay

If you feel very attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship. Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBT community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.

In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual or pansexual.

Edit Steps

1. 1
   Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don't fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don't allow yourself to be labeled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don't fit, or you can't understand why you aren't like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.
   
   
   
   
   

   Know if you are Gay.
   
   
2. 2
   Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.^[1] When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it's sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn't any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.
   
   Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should "change your ways". If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that "helping homosexuals to become heterosexual" is possible, and treatments to "change" sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.^[2]
   
   Understand the psychology involved, as much as possible, and recognize that many people believe that sexual choice is an aspect of maturity; is it possible that the other sex still just has "cooties" to you, in a sense?^[3]
   
   
   
   
   

   Remember that you didn't choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end.
3. 3
   Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.
   
   
   
   
   

   Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you.
4. 4
   Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can't accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: "I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It's my life, and I choose to be happy".
5. 5
   Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.
6. 6
   Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live "out", it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don't go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can't please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can't accept the one small fact of who you are that is your sexuality, and can't still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren't worth your time or letting it bother you, because it's not your fault that the person can't accept it.
   
   
   
   
   

   Show people who you are.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Be selective. The entire world does not need to know about your sexual orientation. It is not necessary to broadcast who you are, and no one should make you, if you find that telling everyone makes you uncomfortable. Know that, while you want and deserve to live an authentic life, it may not be a good idea to expose yourself to narrow-minded people who may offend you.
• Don't come out to a particular person if it doesn't feel right to you. This is a good rule to follow in general - there could be many reasons why, but if it doesn't "feel right" then it is probably not the right time to come out to that person. The time to tell them may be later, or never. What is most important is that you come out to yourself. Once you are at ease with your own sexual orientation and have a healthy self-image, the when and how of coming out often fall into place naturally.
• Don't worry about what others think; what is important is that you are true to yourself and considerate of others - that doesn't mean you need to cater to the sensibilities of others. If a friend or a member of your family is having trouble coming to terms with your orientation, you may have to give them time and be patient, or in the long term face the end of that friendship.
• If you are in a relationship, refrain from using the word "room-mate" or words to that effect to describe your partner. And don't let your loved ones get away with that, either - if you allow them to pretend by introducing your partner as your "friend" or "room-mate," then you're allowing them to put a mask on you and your partner, both. Don't get nasty about it, just correct them gently, for example:
  
  
  • "Well, yes we do live together. Auntie Joan, David is my partner" or "Auntie Joan, I noticed that Jo was introducing you to my girlfriend, Andrea. We dated for a couple of months before moving in together, and we've been together about a year now. I'm so glad you finally get to meet her... Andi, come here, sweetie, and meet my Aunt Joan".
    
    Once your family get the idea that you aren't about to sit back and let them believe that you and David are "just room-mates", or that you and Andi are "just really good friends", they will stop attempting to put a mask on your relationship and be more open, too.
• Remember that being gay does not require you to conform to typical gay stereotypes. Most people who are gay are indistinguishable from those that aren't, share the same interests, goals and dreams for their lives. Being a homosexual person does not necessarily make you any less masculine or feminine, and there is no need or pressure to conform to stereotypes that don't feel right to you - because you are who you are.
• Transsexuals can also be gay. There are plenty of FTMs who are gay, who are into other guys and same goes for MTFs, MTFs who are into other girls. Gender and sexuality are not the same thing. It shows that being gay does not make one "less of a wo/man"

Edit Warnings

• Use good judgement. Sadly, not everyone in the world is a modern, accepting person. Don't broadcast this information to your entire community if you live in a small town or an area where LGBT persons are less likely to be accepted and where you are likely to be harmed physically or emotionally.
• If it is very likely that your coming out will have a bad outcome, then don't. As long as you know who you are, that's plenty for the short term. In the end, your sexual orientation is your business. Eventually, people may figure it out, and you will need to decide whether to stay in that situation or move on to a place that is more accepting.
• If you are still being supported by parents whom you are quite sure would disown you for being gay, it may be prudent to wait to tell them until you are independent. It may be vital for your survival to hold off on coming out until, for example, you have graduated high school or college, or you have moved into a place of your own.
• You may regret the acceptance of your orientation in the future, especially if you're in a part of the world where the homosexual, bisexual and transgender communities are prosecuted by a specific culture. You may have a choice in changing your lifestyle; that is, perhaps you feel you need to live under the guise of being heterosexual for your own safety, and perhaps even your own personal happiness. It is not always easy to remain accepting of your orientation depending on where you live, and the views of the people who are most important to you. There are non-profit organizations that exists to both support you in your acceptance, and also in case you would want to try and lead a heterosexual lifestyle, although you can never change your orientation. Although, it is important to note that the American Psychological Association has declared that groups claiming to cure homosexuality are dangerous and unhealthy. It is very mentally and physically unhealthy to suppress your feelings and your true self. It is up to you to decide what's best for your life.

How to Find the Right Lesbian Partner

Despite the stereotype that lesbians move in together by the second date, lesbians date just as heterosexual people do. If you are newly out of the closet, be forewarned that being gay does not make the process of dating any easier. While some people are lucky enough to meet Ms. Right right away, for most people meeting someone compatible takes a lot of time and effort. It sometimes takes a lot of bad dates to get to the good ones, and it takes a lot of dating to get to a satisfying relationship. However, there are a few things you can do to make the search for your dream woman easier.

1. Look for women in places that would attract the type of woman you want to meet. It may sound like common sense, but if you do not enjoy drinking or dancing, you probably will not meet a compatible mate in a nightclub or bar. If you are shy about meeting people, or there is not a large lesbian community in your area, you might want to join a club or take a class in something that interests you, preferably one geared toward women.
   
   
2. 2
   Get involved in your area's a gay/lesbian community. There may well be a LGBT group, club or organisation usually offer various classes and activities in your area. Pick one or a few that interest you and join in. By already knowing most of the women you will meet there are Lesbians, you will take some of the frustration and guess-work out of trying to meet someone. Plus, if you do meet someone through a class or activity there, you will already have something in common with her to talk about and do together, and to build on common ground.
3. 3
   

   Get involved in online gay/lesbian communities.
   Get involved in online gay/lesbian communities. The Internet is full of lesbian forums, message boards, discussion groups and blogs. Some are location-specific while others are of a more global nature. Although it is preferable to find an online group that serves your city or nearby towns, many global groups might have members from your area. You can find local LGBT groups where you can meet other lesbians with interests like yours.
4. 4
   Join an online dating service. But before you do, make sure the dating site has local lesbian members. Many online dating sites serve the lesbian community but will not have many current members who live near you. Always browse around first to make sure the site has local active members who interest you before you commit to paying a fee for any online dating service. LesbianDatingCafe offers advanced search features for searching lesbian members near you.
5. 5
   

   Be open to blind dating.
   Be open to blind dating. Although the very concept of blind dating is a turn-off to many people, keeping your options open might just allow you to meet your ideal partner. If a friend offers to set you up with someone, at least consider it before you say no. Ask a few questions about the woman, and if she sounds compatible, give it a try. If you are uncomfortable at the thought of sitting through a long date with someone you might not click with, meet for coffee. If the two of you connect, you can always make a dinner date for another night.
   
   
   • To well-intentioned friends: consider simply inviting the two women you'd like to "fix up" to a party or function. Say a few well-placed words to each about the other, and then let things take their natural course - no "set-up", no worries. Also, later on, you can ask each privately if they'd be interested in being set up on a date with the other - no longer a blind date. Try not to assume that they will hit it off together because they are both lesbians.
6. 6
   

   Befriend other lesbians.
   Befriend other lesbians. Making friends with other lesbians, including lesbian couples, can be one of the best ways to better your chances of meeting someone. By broadening your social network to include other lesbians who have common interests, you will be connecting with people who like to do the things you do and maybe even share the same goals and views you do. A new friend might have a friend who would like to meet you, or, you just may turn a new friendship into a budding relationship. Try not to get discouraged.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Prepare yourself for the process before you get started.
• Be very honest with yourself. Take some time to make a list of your best qualities and personality traits. Examine your true interests.
• If it were easy to meet the perfect person, there would not be so many single people eager to enroll in online dating services. Gay or straight, finding that one person you want to commit to a relationship with takes time and patience. Stay committed to the search, and remember all you have to offer. Ms. Right might be just around the corner, or she might live in the next town, but you will never find her if you give up.
• Date for a while - don't move in on the second date. Rather than going out a few times and then picking out a china pattern together, try to resolve that you will date for at least 6 months before changing any living arrangements. This way, if you find you need couples counseling before the end of the trial period, you can be pretty sure you haven't met your perfect match. Take your time - it's a lifetime of misery, of apathy, or of bliss - make sure you take the time to choose right.
• If you just got out of a bad relationship and havent had much luck getting a new girl friend, you shouldn't worrie. It takes a little while to get back on your feet. Don't stop trying!

Edit Warnings

• Do not advertise your shortcomings or lie to mask things you are not proud of. Do not say you are a workaholic who does not really have time for a relationship but hopes to meet someone anyway - either commit or forget about it. If you do not want to say you are a smoker, then leave it off your list completely.
• Dishonesty will only interfere with the process of meeting someone truly compatible for a lasting relationship.
• Do not get involved with someone you think you can "change". She won't appreciate the fact that it was her potential, and not her, that you were interested in. Either accept her as she is now or leave her alone.

How to Attract a Tomboy

 

1. 1
   Play sports with her or hang out with her. Do this progressively, so as not to freak her out with your sudden interest in her sporting activities.
   
   
2. 2
   Find out some funny jokes. Most girls love funny guys, even if they are tomboys.
3. 3
   Leave the clothing compliments aside. It is not really a good idea to compliment a tomboy on her outfit. The chances are that she became a tomboy to avoid the whole girly-girl cutesy thing.
4. 4
   Make sure she is available before making your move on her. Girls (and tomboys) don't like guys hitting on them when they have a boyfriend already.
5. 5
   Learn about what her interests are and start getting interested in them. Naturally, don't change yourself; just try to see if some of those interests enthuse you and adjust a little.
6. 6
   Slowly but confidently start flirting with her. Do this in a way that isn't that noticeable and more by way of mateship. If you persevere and keep it casual but kind, after a time, she will start to find herself liking you.
7. 7
   Build things up. After awhile, if she shows signs that she likes you too then you can turn up the flirting a notch. Don't play too easy though; then she won't feel that she is powerful, and most girls like thinking they have a sense of power over love. Love should be shared, not be a power struggle.
8. 8
   Be patient. If she is the confident tomboy many tomboys are, then she might either ask you out or tell you she likes you. If she doesn't do this, then ask her out.
   
   

Edit Tips

• Become friends first.
• Find her interests.
• Be as funny as possible.
• Make sure she is open.
• Flirt confidently and gradually.
• Flirt a little more after awhile.
• Be the same guy when you go out. Girls don't like guys changing once they're in a relationship with them.

Edit Warnings

• Make sure she is receptive to being in a romantic relationship.
• Take care with the compliments; make sure she enjoys compliments before piling them on.
• Keep the flirting chilled at first, so as not to overwhelm her.
• Don't be too easy to get.
• Don't change who you are once you start going steady.
• Some tomboy's aren't really interested in relationships.

Dating Women

Dating Women

Although there are no sure-fire ways to tell, here are some way to guess if a woman is interested in you, especially for bisexual and lesbian women.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: N/A

Here's How:

1.She Tries to Make Eye Contact

Does she go out of her way to try and catch your eye? Do you catch her looking at you when you glance her way? These are signs that she's intrigued, but it may or may not have anything to do with a romantic interest. Pay attention to the context. These clues are a lot more telling at a lesbian bar then in the workplace.

2.She Makes a Point of Sitting Near You

At work she sits next to you in staff meetings. In a group of friends she'll take the seat right next to you or right across from you.

3.She Goes Out of Her Way to Engage with You

Does she always come by your cubicle at work to check in about a project that could easily be talked about via email? Does she show up at your softball games, at the club where you bartend or hang around outside your classroom when her next class is far away? These are all signs she could be into you. Then again, it could be your co-worker, boss or classmate.

4.She laughs at your jokes

Especially if they're not funny.

5.She touches you.

Does she touch your hand when she asks to see your ring? Are there moments when touching is not called for, but she does anyway, like sitting close on a couch or giving your shoulder a squeeze when you pass by her.

6.She compliments you.

If she says you have pretty eyes or a nice smile, she's probably flirting with you. If she compliments your shirt, hair or shoes, she could just like them.

7.She jokes around with you.

Humor is a great ice breaker. If she likes you, she may tease you, joke with you or flirt with you.

8.Your intuition is tell you so.

Don't discount the power of your intuition. Often the energy between two people is palpable. Feel for it, but you can never be sure if one-sided.

9.She tells you.

This is only sure fire way to find out if someone is into you. Either that or she tries to kiss you.

Tips:

1.Warning: If she is your personal trainer or therapist, these things are part of her job (Well, obviously not the kissing...) She is NOT interested in you!

2.Pay attention

Is she acting this way just toward you, or is she a touchy, flirty person in general.

3.Have good boundaries.

If this is a co-worker and you're interested in finding out more, invite her to hang out outside of work. Hitting on someone at work is highly inappropriate and may get you fired.

4.Use Caution

All of these things may add up to her liking you, but don't do anything stupid or rash. Take it slow and get to know her before you make a fool of yourself.

5.Find out if she is gay or bi.

She may not know yet if she is lesbian or bi, but you can start by coming out to her and seeing how she responds. Here are some suggestions of ways to bring up the topic.

Flirting Tips for Lesbians

Flirting Tips for Lesbians